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Dear Diary: Day 1
We arrived at Hedo today and looking back, I feel every emotion I have in my body throughout the day. Flying to Jamaica was an adventure because the airport did not want to accept my COVID letter, but we made it through all of the checkpoints and could make the flight. I am proud to report that I had a yummy margarita at 9 am with no regrets! I also put my phone on airplane mode for the flight but decided not to turn it back on the entire trip.
Let's see if I can last that long.
After we got to Montego Bay, I got very nervous. We still had a 1.5-hour bus ride, which turned into a 2-hour bus ride due to traffic. By the time we arrived, I was anxious and exhausted. The enthusiastic bellman, Batman, helped me relax by welcoming me home and providing me with a drink. That was very much needed and appreciated.
As we were sitting there, it was 7 minutes into my Hedo experience. A black car pulls up, and a loud, bubbly blonde jumps out. She was wearing bathing suit bottoms, or panties, I never really knew, and a tank top that wasn't covering her large titties. I remember thinking to myself, I could never be that open and free. She was already heavily influenced by adult beverages, loud and vulgar. I just looked at my partner; my eyes were probably as big as small plates, and I believe the color had left my face. I told him; I can't do this. My partner lovingly reassured me, and we were taken to our room. You could still hear her throughout the dining room as we walked to our room. Her laugh was infectious yet terrifying. She was having the time of her life, and I was more terrified than ever.
We went to our room, and I was starving! I wanted to throw on a swimsuit and eat, but My partner wanted to unpack first. BTW, he is the slowest unpacker ever! Maybe I was just frustrated because I was hungry, but come on! We finally ate some yummy food, got a drink, and I began to feel better.
The theme for the evening was Rock Star, and I feel like we were dressed sexy for the show. The food was great, and the drinks were strong; however, the show was stunning. It was very energetic and a great introduction to what the week will hold for us. We met Carol and David from The Sexy Lifestyle for the first time as well.
Tonight, I decided to say yes to things I would normally say no to. It took me a minute, but I finally shed my bathing suit bottoms and went to the pool naked for a quick swim. We returned to the room to go bed early for Hedo but were exhausted. I am excited to see what tomorrow brings.
Dear Diary: DAY 2
Day 2 at Hedo did not disappoint! One of the reasons I was having difficulty shedding my bathing suit bottoms yesterday was that I needed a wax. Thankfully, the spa on the property helped me with that issue, and I got a facial to help me relax. We met Carol and David for breakfast and chatted about who we were and our goals for this trip. They are so amazing! We also met a new couple at breakfast and ended up hanging out most of the day, but I will talk more about that later. Armed with my freshly waxed vagina and my newfound confidence, we made our daytime debut at the nude pool.
The wife of our new friend couple and I relaxed in the ocean and looked for sea treasures. I did find a live sand dollar that became my pet.
After a few hours of great conversation, flirting, and adult beverages, something happened that I still can't believe I participated in. Our new friends that we were talking to and having fun with walked over to My partner and me while we were relaxing by the beach, and the husband asked if he could kiss me. One thing led to another, and we had a foursome on the beach, in front of EVERYONE on the beach and at the pool. It was invigorating. I just closed my eyes and let it happen. I was unable to have an orgasm, no matter how hard the couple tried, but it was my first public sexual debut. Cut me some slack.
Shortly after my sexual beach debut, we got ready for dinner and the show. It was sports night, and my partner and I were dressed in the nines. I even won the costume contest! Later that night, we danced, flirted, and had more play time with our new friends. This time, I had multiple orgasms and just let go! Watching My partner please her was beautiful while I was also being pleasured. FYI: The rooms have mirrors on the ceiling, which is sexy. The couple was so sexy and so yummy!
To carry on with the first experiences while Hedonism ll, after the show but before our playtime with our friends, we visited the courtyard where they have a DJ and dancing, and this is where I gave our friend and My partner a blowjob… in the courtyard… in front of everyone. Who am I?
After our playtime with our friends, My partner and I went to the nude pool café, ordered delicious pizzas, and unpacked everything that had happened throughout the entire day. My partner and I are blown away at how much fun we have had so far, and it is only day 2! I can't imagine what tomorrow might bring.
Dear Diary: Day 3
Welcome to Day 3 at Hedo! My week of saying yes to things I wouldn't normally do has shocked me! Today went better than I could have ever imagined. We slept in and enjoyed a late breakfast since we had a late night last night. It was more of a brunch. Afterward, we dropped our clothes and headed straight to the nude pool. There were no hesitations, no embarrassment. I just went there without even thinking about it.
I started drinking a bit earlier than I usually would, but it's Hedo, so there are no rules. The party was pumping, the music was great, and the hosts were engaging. They included everyone, got everyone involved, and did things to me that I never thought I would do. There was one host who was a tiny, gorgeous blonde who was using a toy on women. This toy was like no other toy I had ever seen before. It was a drilldo. Yes, it was a dildo attached to a Sawzall! What the hell is this contraption? I had My partner order one almost immediately.
When this sexy little snack asked for volunteers, my hand shot up. I am not sure what got into me, well I do, it was a drilldo! It was powerful and erotic all at the same time. She was rubbing my body and pleasuring me with this drilldo until I had an orgasm… in front of everyone at the pool. I have never felt so free! So proud of myself!
The theme for the evening was sexy school girls. I was tired from partying all day and didn't want to dress up, but honestly, it boils down to the fact that I wasn't comfortable with any of the costumes I had brought. I improvised and created something I felt comfortable in, and we were on our way to dinner. I was wearing this tiny little plaid skirt that only covered half of my butt, my black bra, and no panties!
During the show that evening, they had another costume contest, and I ran on stage to participate in this adventure. When it was my time to play to the crowd, I dropped it like and showed the entire crowd my bare ass and waxed vagina! I made it to the final two, which was declared a tie. I continue to shock myself more and more on this trip.
We danced for a bit in the courtyard, but My partner and I were so horny after the day, so we went back to the room and had amazing sex! It was so intense and passionate. I think that My partner is seeing me trying new things, making him more attracted to me. Of course, we ended the evening by going to the nude pool café for our nightly pizza.
Remember that loud blonde I was scared of on day one? We had our late-night dinner with her and her husband. While they are loud and very outgoing, they are amazing!
Dear Diary: Day 4
Day 4 did not disappoint, but I am convinced no day at Hedo isn't mind-blowing! We slept in again and had a late breakfast/early lunch at the grille. You might think that sleeping in would be a normal practice, but My partner wakes up early every morning, so his sleeping in is rare.
During our lunch, we met a fun couple from Texas. Immediately, the men established that they were both in the Navy and even stationed at the same place. Seeing My partner get excited about meeting someone from his old life was a fun moment. After lunch, I am sure you can guess where we ended up: the nude pool! That is where the party is, and I am not missing a great party! We started connecting more with the host group, fitting their personalities right in. My partner had ear issues during the afternoon and had to rest in the room for about an hour. This was a very new experience for me. I am very outgoing, but My partner is my comfort blanket, and with him not being there, I had some anxiety. I could have allowed this anxiety to stop me from having a good time, and I usually would have just gone back to the room with him, but I pushed through the uncomfortable.
In the middle of this anxiety, my being alone in a pool full of naked couples, I was voluntold to get 'on stage,' the side of the pool where all of the action was taking place, to participate in an 8-way pussy train. First, I am very selective about going down on women to begin with, and second, I have never done this for an audience before. I had so much anxiety going into this activity. I was looking for My partner to reassure me, but he still wasn't back, and I was afraid that I would make a fool of myself in front of everyone at the pool. But I did it! I went down on two different women during this activity. I even got great feedback from the ladies. I was so proud of myself! My partner was not there to witness this but was told about it when he returned. The look on his face, the admiration, and the pride he felt for me doing something outside of my comfort zone made me fall in love with him all over again.
But wait, there's more! The fun only continued poolside. Remember that tiny snack of a woman who used the drilldo on me? Well, she got me again! She called me up to play with me with this toy that sucked and licked my clit while vibrating. Ummm, I squirted almost immediately. When she pulled the toy away from me, my juices flew all over the crowd that had gathered around to watch. Can I tell you how embarrassed I was? I was mortified! This is another toy that My partner purchased. The toys are going to arrive before we even get home.
The theme for the evening was Jamaica Day, and dinner was held outside. The show was great. We danced and enjoyed the company of many new friends we made today. My partner was called up to the stage for a sexy man contest. He worked the crowd, flirted with the ladies, and then dropped into the splits! The crowd loved his show! After the show, the group we were hanging out with at the pool held a large ball volleyball game, men vs. women. Of course, the women won!
After our victory, My partner and I walked by the ocean and unpacked the day's events. It was a day that I needed to unpack with him after being so anxious throughout the day. Of course, we got our midnight pizza fix, LOL. What can I say? The pizza is amazing!
Dear Diary: Day 5
Wait, it is only day 5? I feel like we have been here for much longer. We woke up early today and went on a Catamaran trip with about 80 others. Our first stop was the reef, and I pushed past a slight fear and went snorkeling. My partner was so sweet and didn't leave my side. It was beautiful, but there weren't many fish, so I quickly got bored. We returned to the boat and found a comfortable spot to relax on the nets.
There were so many sexual happenings taking place around the boat. It was sexy, exciting, and quite arousing. Somehow, I ended up in the lap of one woman who was playing with my breasts while another beautiful lady pleasured my clit with a vibrator, and another one whispered naughty things in my ear. Oh, did I mention that My partner used the drilldo on me? This was exceptionally over-stimulating! Again, everyone was watching. I just closed my eyes and tried to relax as much as possible.
Our next stop was the caves. These specific caves were the location of the filming of one of the James Bond movies. The cave bar was still there for us to see. We even had locals who were cliff-jumping for our enjoyment. It was a great experience! While traveling back to the resort, we had a sweet dolphin play with our catamaran, and it followed us for a bit. We had a full day already, and it was only 2:00 pm.
Upon our return, we had our first interview at the resort. We got to talk with Randy, a great man who sees the world most positively. It was such a great interview! Of course, after we wrapped, we all met back at the nude pool to continue the party!
One thing we quickly learned: with Topless Travel, the party never stops! Per usual, I was adventurous and gave My partner a blowjob on the side of the pool for all to see. I already had a full day of fun, but much more was to come.
We met a group of new friends and had dinner at Harrysan, the hibachi grill, before the evening show. It was fun to bring together a group of people who probably wouldn't have connected. After dinner, we all went to change into our evening wear. The theme for the evening was the glow party. I was so excited to wear my costume, and I felt amazing! The party was fun, we danced, partied and laughed until my side hurt! I can't express how free I felt today!
We went to the playroom for a bit of fun with a couple. It started OK, but they were new and got a bit overstimulated, so we ended the evening with them, and My partner and I went to the hot tub for a fun time for us! Also, we needed our midnight pizza fix.
Dear Diary: Day 6
Day 6 from paradise! Yesterday was exhausting! After all of the midnight pizza and alcohol, I needed to work out for a bit to work on my self-image. The workout felt great and very much needed. Afterward, I scheduled a couples massage by the beach with my partner and me. That was my first couples massage and my first massage on the beach. We spent much of the afternoon relaxing and spending time together, but of course, we ended up at the pool for the party. We were pretty low-key for this party due to being tired.
Carol and David approached us during the pool party and asked me if I knew how to dance salsa. I am not the best dancer, but I can shake my ass, LOL. They had a motive, and once they found out that we were extending our trip, they implemented their plan. Harry, the owner, was looking for a salsa dancing partner to perform on stage the following night during the event show. To say I was a willing participant would be a lie, but I knew this was an honor, so I agreed. What was I thinking? Have I lost my mind?
I am thankful that we had a restful day because the theme of the evening was leather/fetish night, and the show was SEXY! My partner was in a leather vest with his hair pulled back. He had his paddles around his waist… He was fucking hot! I felt sexy and submissive by his side.
We had a different experience after the show. I had met a couple by the pool who had wanted to meet me but hadn't had the chance yet. The same couple ended up sitting close to us for the show.
Afterward, I introduced My partner to them and decided that we would give them a tutorial on how to spank. I allowed the husband to spank me. My partner spanked his wife, and things went great. It was an educational experience for all. We moved the experience down to the outdoor beds by the pool so we could continue the tutorial. This went on for an hour. Watching My partner work with a couple so intensely made my sapiosexual heart almost burst. He was gentle with the couple, explaining why things were done in a specific way and teaching them safety as they advanced their skills. We ended up having a side-by-side play, which was a massive step for the couple. My partner took me to the playroom where the swing was, and I had an incredible orgasm. He was in his costume, between my legs, grabbing the chains on the sex swing… it was all so erotic!
Dear Diary: Day 7
Day 7 and show day! This was supposed to be our original departure date, but you never want to leave when you are in Hedo. We again slept in and enjoyed a very slow start to a very nice day. I woke up tangled in nerves. I still can't believe I agreed to dance with the resort's owner.
During the early afternoon, we had the privilege of interviewing Marc and Chelsea from Topless Travel. They are such a fun couple and excellent party hosts… and might I add that I am attracted to both of them!
Of course, we ended up at the pool party where it rained, but the party didn't stop! I had dance rehearsal at 4:00 pm with Harry and Winston, so I left my partner to fend for himself, and I faced another fear. The rehearsal went well. I got a beautiful costume and felt ready to do my best and have fun. My favorite part of the afternoon was sitting down with Harry for about 2 hours and learning about him and his journey to becoming the owner of Hedo. He was so inviting and easy to talk to.
After practice, I went back to the pool and found My partner. I was so energized and ready for the evening. I wanted to impress My partner and every other guest at the resort. Let's face it: I wanted to be the center of attention for a short amount of time.
I limited my alcohol intake throughout the day, so my nerves were very high going into the process of getting ready for the evening. I made sure my make-up was perfect, my hair was somewhat cute, and my costume was perfect! Winston didn't want me to wear my costume to dinner, so I had to hide it until our dance. I didn't eat dinner before the dance because I was afraid I would throw up. To say I was nervous would have been an understatement. When the time came, I kissed My partner and went backstage to get ready. I did guzzle a glass of wine backstage to help calm my nerves.
Winston cued us, and we were shuffled on the stage. The music began, and I tuned out the entire world and focused on Harry. The song was very long, 6 minutes, and I followed him as best as possible. It wasn't the best dance, but I gave it one hell of a try. We got a standing ovation afterward, and many people approached me afterward to tell him how good I had done. I have to admit, I was a sweaty mess afterward, extraordinarily thirsty and exhausted from being on the adrenaline high for several hours. I was so proud of myself, but I was also proud of how my partner looked at me after the dance!
My partner and I returned to our room so I could clean up a bit, and then we returned to the party to hang out with Carol and David. To continue with the theme of being hedonistic, I deep-throated David in the courtyard in front of anyone who wanted to watch! This is not something I would do publicly due to my fear of gagging and throwing up, but I just went with it.
We ended the night fairly early with our friends but not each other. I was starving because I had not had dinner, so my partner and I went to the midnight pizza bar and had our pizza down by the beach. We discussed and processed the events from the day and then went to bed.
Dear Diary: Day 8
I am exhausted! Day 8 in… wait, where are we again? I had to wake up super early for my class, and I felt like a zombie for the first part of class. It wasn't until our lunch break that I could pull myself together enough to get proper clothes on and begin to wake up. Note for the future, Stephanie: Don't try to attend class while on vacation!
After class, we interviewed the very sexy couple from My Frisky Business and learned all about them and their journey into the lifestyle. This couple is the type of couple that is almost too sexy. They resemble Greek gods and goddesses! My partner told me that the wife mentioned several times that she wanted to play with me, but I was too intimidated by her to pursue that option. I need to work on that insecurity, but I cannot do it today.
We also did a round table discussion with David and Carol from The Sexy Lifestyle. This couple… words can't express how much confidence they instilled in me this past week! They have helped me realize that I am enough, I have a message that people want to hear, and they have cheered on my growth wholeheartedly throughout this trip. I am walking away from our round table with a deeper understanding of myself and my sexual journey due to them believing in me!
During the pool party, My partner and I played a game and competed against five other couples where we put a water bottle between our legs and "peed" in a shot glass that was in the man's mouth. We won! Good to know that if I ever grow a penis, I can aim that sucker well! We won a new toy that we will play with later!
We had dinner and enjoyed the evening show with Carol and David. Then, my partner and I went to the courtyard to dance the night away with a sexy couple with whom we had been flirting all day. Can I tell you how sexy My partner was dressed tonight!! He is my favorite human, and I sometimes can't get enough of him. We were hot and sweaty from dancing and decided to head to the pool with our friends to cool off and flirt a bit more. During this midnight pool adventure, we learned about bacon grilled cheese from the nude pool grille…. Where has this been all of my life? WOW!!!
We didn't play with our friends, but we returned to our room and played with our new toy. Honestly, My partner was so sexy throughout the night, and I was very excited to have him all to myself!
Dear Diary: Day 9
Day 9 in Heaven! I had class most of the day, and it was absolutely mentally draining! I love my school, and I love learning about all things sex, but the class weekends are packed with information, speakers, and thought-provoking cases. Not to mention that we are at Hedo and partying late into the night. When will I learn I am no longer young and can't pull all-nighters like I used to?
After class, we went to the pool party. My partner had been there without me for a while, so when I arrived, his sights were locked on a very attractive couple that had arrived the day before. I met them and was just as interested in learning more about them. The husband was a bit forward and quickly started kissing me. I have had many firsts on this trip, and I was worn down from the week of excitement, not to mention being in class all day. I was flattered, but it was too much for my current frame of mind. My partner was having the time of his life with two beautiful ladies wrapped around his waist, boobs in his face, and his hands on each of their asses.
During our afternoon pool time with the new couple, they told us that they only played separately, and up until this moment, My partner and I had not played independently at the resort. My partner and I talked privately about my being comfortable with us playing separately, and we established our boundaries for the evening.
The theme for dinner was sports night, and we dressed in the same costumes from the week before, and it looked just as good. After dinner and the show, we met the couple at the pool and finalized our plans to play. While kissing and caressing in the pool, I asked if the husband wanted to go to the hut and play. I was so nervous, and it was out of my element, but since this was the trip of firsts for me, I used my voice and asked. The play was fun, and about 15 minutes into us being in the hut, My partner came in and told me that they were going to play on another outside bed.
This caused me some anxiety, but I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My partner and I met back in the room around 3:45 am.
I feel I have many feelings that I need to process after this experience, and I hope that tomorrow, I will be able to verbalize my feelings and thoughts about this experience more clearly to my partner. Good night!
Dear Diary: Our Final Day
This is our final day in Hedo, and I am ready to go home. I had class for the first part of the day, and all I wanted to do today was relax by the beach. As soon as we got to the beach, My partner found a sexy couple, and he immediately plopped down beside them and began talking. He picks on me for talking to everyone, but this man can talk just as much as I can. I'm laughing out loud.
The couple had fun, and we invited them to Lobster Island to have lunch with us. We all kayaked over to the island, selected our juicy lobsters, and visited over lunch.
We went to the pool for a bit, but the crowd had changed, and I was so tired that I was ready to relax by the ocean for a while. But for the sake of the party, we kept going! Thankfully, my partner and David had scheduled a sunset photo shoot for Carol and me, so that was my way to exit the pool and get ready. The photoshoot was great, the sunset was stunning, and this was the perfect last night at the resort!
We had dinner with Carol and David at Harrysan. Unfortunately, My partner and I were exhausted and didn't feel we were great dinner guests. We ended the evening early and packed up for our early departure in the morning. While lying in bed, my partner and I reflected on the entire trip and negotiated with each other about when we would be back again. Good night! THE END
Updated 08/28/2024
Dr. Stephanie's Hedonism 2 packing essentials can be found on her Amazon list here: Essentials for Hedonism 2
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Dramatically Yours,
Dr. Stephanie
Dr. Stephanie, PhD is the founder of Evolve Your Intimacy and the author of two books, The Clinician's Guide to Ethical Non-Monogamous Relationships: Working with Clients with Alternative Lifestyles and The Anti-Fight Journal, Fighting Fair in Relationships.
Being ethically non-monogamous in her personal life, she is passionate about helping others discover their relationships' true potential regardless of the dynamics. She specializes in working with individuals in alternative relationships in her private practice and hosts workshops and playshops at events, on cruises, and through her online platform.
She holds a PhD in Clinical Sexology, an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, a Licensed Professional Counselor in Texas, Arizona, South Dakota, and Florida, and a Certified Sex Therapist. If you want to work with Dr. Stephanie, schedule a free consultation.
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